optimism or pessimism?

We are optimistic beings, always hoping for the best but never preparing for the worst. There is no need to be a logician or pessimist to know that life doesn’t always go as planned. For most people this is a bitter pill to swallow, that’s why many live off wishful thinking.  I’m still a young man who has a lot to learn from life, one of the traits that I’ve picked up along the way is to always leave room for disappointment. That does not necessarily mean that I live life expecting something wrong to happen. 

Knowing that reality tends to burst the bubble filled with our wishes, I’ve gotten rid of that subliminal obsession with the future and have begun to take life as it comes.  Simply put, I just do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. I guess the saying “go with the flow” applies in my life. Some things can not be controlled that’s why I let the forces of destiny steer me to that unknown place that just might be paradise.  

Although I’m no philosopher, I think I should leave you with this analogy: Living life is like walking in the dark, you’ll never know where your next step leads. 

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s superman.

I’m fortunate to have been born after the primitive era, when it was not necessary be half naked and hunt the evening’s meal with a bow and arrow. Back then entertainment meant sitting with my eyes glued to the television, completely captivated by action packed cartoons such as Ninja turtles, Power rangers and Batman. In retrospect, watching the “steering” use his powers to catch the bad guy was not beneficial to me, but to some level it provoked thoughts that fueled my over imaginative mind. Being young and staring into thin air, imagining what I would do if I had supernatural powers was not out of the ordinary. Despite the passing of ages, you might say that I’m a retrogressive person due to the fact that I still find myself losing touch with reality and slip into a world created by my imagination. Fiction might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I find it a necessity to move from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Get rid of that knowledgeable mind by ignoring the laws of nature and science. Give voice to that inner child that you hide from the world. As ridiculous as it may seem, imagine you woke up one morning and you miraculously had supernatural powers. What kind of powers would you want to posses? Is it immortality, super strength, enhanced intuition or even invisibility? Given the fact that we are a species that is often engulfed by curiosity, you most probably will end up using your powers for some mischievous activity. In that case all I can do is quote Uncle Ben from Spiderman “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Awkward moments

I have vivid memories lodged at the back of my mind; some of these memories are of awkward moments that make me crack a smile unwillingly. Luckily these incidents remain perfectly hidden in plain view only to be seen by those who pay attention. They might seem unbelievable and unconceivable but Gods sense of humor is one which a mere mortal will never understand, but here are the synopses of my awkward moments.

I was in a queue attempting to start a friendly conversation with the lady in front of me, she didn’t reply and the first thing that came to mind was “This person is rude.” To my surprise that lady’s companion came along and they started making hand gestures which looked like sign language. When I walked away from that embarrassing scene, that seemed a bit cinematic, the only thing that I could hear was the voice in my head saying “I’m such an idiot for trying to start a conversation with a deaf person”. After that incident I wished I could just crawl underneath some rock and hide from earths judgmental eyes.

I’ve also found myself calling someone with the intent of saying something specific, but due to some psychological phenomena what I wanted to say can’t come out. So, to avoid sounding like a strange or deranged person, I improvise and come up with something else to say. Eventually when I run out of conversation topics, there’s a brief moment of silence when I frantically searching my mind for something else to say. Unexpectedly, I blurt the first thing that comes to mind only to realize seconds later that I just said a load of crap. None of the Twenty six alphabetic letters can be placed together to create that elusive word that perfectly describes how I feel after making such phone calls.

Since I’m not Cronus, the Titan god of time and the ages, there’s no point in beating myself up for something I can’t change. I’d rather look back at these moments and laugh.

Somalia

The land won’t bear anything to devour
The sky won’t shed a tear
On her long journey south in search for life
She’s accompanied by the messengers of death
She left home with nothing but memories
Cautiously walking with the scorching sun against her skin
She takes a breath as if it were her last
Anger, fear, sorrow and uncertainty fill her eyes
All she can do is beg Allah for mercy

Who am I?

To avoid sounding like a contemplative nutcase who is rambling on about a whole lot of philosophical mumbo jumbo, I’ll tell you what brought about the idea of writing this blog post. There was a very intriguing local documentary that I watched called “Who am I”. On this show there are people who come from all walks of life trying to find their true identity. Through the process of trying to answer this question, they leave their suburban surroundings and visit the areas where their forefathers once resided. It’s quite an interesting journey that explores different aspects of a person’s culture, religion and lifestyle. There was a particular episode on which an elderly woman said “We as Africans have lost our identity because deep within our subconscious mind colonialist and missionaries embedded the idea that our ways were savage and immoral.” Every time I indulged in this scintillating local documentary, I was always left in awed silence by the simple yet profound statements made. It only comes to show that a person’s identity is not only determined by the green coded booklet that’s issued out by home affairs.

Africa, Africa, Africa

Africa is the richest continent in terms of minerals, yet we are the poorest continent in terms of finance. I search the vague recesses of my mind trying to find an answer as to why Africa is in this predicament. Besides the poverty and lack of development, autocracy is one thing that many countries on this continent have in common. This political system comes in the form of totalitarian and dictatorship. After gaining independence aspiring leaders had noble intentions but after a while corruption and pure greed began to fuel a never ending hunger for power. Now they cling onto power hoping that the winds of change don’t blow.

This continent has given birth to great leaders like Patrice Lumumba, Julius Nyerere, Muammar Gaddafi, Thabo Mbeki and Robert Mugabe. They all had political philosophies and ideologies that would drastically improve the dire condition we find ourselves in. But not having a solid implementation plan that turns those ideas into reality lead to their downfall. In South Africa, Thabo Mbeki was a visionary leader whose philosophy of African Renaissance was all about making this continent stand up on its own without the assistance of western countries. All this was going to be done by uniting every country with the hopes that it will rebuild its economy, preserve its culture and overcome any challenge it faces. Muammar Gaddafi envisioned a United States of Africa but given the circumstances that idea remained exactly that, an idea. Julius Nyerere announced the Arusha declaration which was a policy that promoted African socialism and collectivization. Pan Africanism is an ideology that all theses leaders upheld, but what will ultimately constitute the implementation of Pan Africanism will be a sense of unity among fellow Africans.

With all the civil wars and coup d'état that have swept across this continent, the word unity seems to be fading from our vocabulary. It’s all about the language you speak, the tribe you come from and the God you praise. This is something that can be traced back to the 1884 Berlin conference when colonizers determined Africa’s fate. Ever colonized state separated people according to there ethnicity and religion, creating that perception that we might be the same colored skin but we still not the same. Although all African countries have gained independence, former colonizers still have some influence in many of these so called “independent” countries. I find it strange that we are quick to balm our colonial fathers for Africa’s misfortune, yet at first sight of political or economic trouble we are the first people to run to them for a helping hand.

As a person who is passionate about the prosperity of Africa, I believe that we will only begin to transform once there is no sight of dirt roads and dilapidated buildings in any capital city and once the sight of flies swamping a naked child, with a visible rib cage and a protruding stomach, is no longer seen. This can only be done if we take charge of our well-being without any western interference and if a new style of leadership emerges, abolishing any form of dictatorship. Now I envision a utopia where there is no such thing as poverty, corruption, dictatorship or war. I hope that one-day Africa will become this utopia I dream of.

A picture worth a thousand words

I haven’t always been a person who reads books for pleasure, but as you grow up the hunger for knowledge becomes more intense. So the first form of literature I read, voluntarily, was a book which had a collection of short stories. This book is called “From the pit of hell to the spring of life” by Daniel Kunene. It’s a book I got from my older brother whom after many failed attempts to get me to read, was somewhat glad to see that his advice did not fall upon deaf ears. Every sentence in this book has vivid adjectives which create some sort of visual imagery. So painting a picture on a blank canvas using nothing but words is what I’m going to attempt doing. The next two paragraphs will give you an encounter I had with a particular lady.

Hidden grief

Silence and darkness surrounds me,
Yet vivid pictures flash before my eyes
Unlashing bitter dry tears and
Silent cries that fall upon deaf ears

Trapped in the dungeon of my mind,
You’ll never break free
Your voice still ricochets of the walls
Giving words of advice in tough times

Although you remain unseen,
I still wonder about what could have been and
Immortalize you within my heart

Shallow

As I drift on clouds of thought, I came across something my friend once said. She said “Kaizer you’ll never find a girlfriend, you’re too picky”. Well just to be fair to her, let me give you the proceedings that lead to these words being said. I was at her place as usual on a Tuesday afternoon and I happened to tell her that I met a lady that was rather fascinating. Unaware that I would be offensive, I mentioned something about this particular lady’s physical appearance. Than she caught me off guard and said “You’re being shallow. Why are you concerned about her body?” After trying to justify my statement she said the words that have to some extent imprinted themselves in my mind. Recently I’ve found it hard to settle for every random thing that comes my way. I’m not shallow nor am I too picky, I just don’t believe in dating someone and learning to love them afterwards. That’s why I closely scrutinize someone before dating them. When I say closely scrutinize, I mean paying attention to every aspect starting with the physical appearance, intelligence and personality. Not to say that I’m looking for a perfect lady that out shines the Virgin Mary, mother Teresa and Beyonce. Obviously human perfection is a myth and there will be one aspect that will not come up to standard. But there is no crime in holding on to the false idea that someone right is out there. I’ve been in a situation where I found myself sitting up at night wondering” Who is this person sleeping beside me?” Maybe I was captivated by the whole idea of love that once the words “I love you” were uttered, I jumped straight into a relationship despite the fact that I was uncertain about how I feel. Well all that I’ve experienced, with regards to relationships, has taught me some valuable lessons such as, not rushing things that are ultimately inevitable. Now I’ve diverted all my attention to enjoying and loving life. In return I hope life gives back its love in the form of a pulchritude and intelligent lady. If my dear friend reads this, note that I still refuse to accept that I’m being shallow by being concerned about physical appearance.

Affection at its best

Everyone is born into this sinful world with a bag full of emotions that are hard to understand. It’s a pity that none of us come with a user manual that can give an answer as to why we have untimely mood changes. The lump of muscle that thumps and pumps blood in your body is thought to be the center of emotions, but I've come across an emotion that brings about a sense of delight, an irregular heart beat and at times a feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Well since I’m not on any sort of drug, I’ve noticed that this emotion is sparked when I’m around a certain lady who is yet to know what kind of power she holds over me. She creeps up into my thoughts when I least expect it. I find myself unconsciously casting furtive glances at her and ignoring all the voices around me just so that I can hear her speak.

Weather or not to call it love is the big question, because there is a very thin line between love and lust. For now I’ll refer to this strong and strange feeling as “love”. There is no cane that offers guidance to those blinded by love and it’s easy to find yourself in a heavenly place or in the territory of gold diggers. That’s why from the handful of relationships I’ve been in, there is a little rule book I’ve drafted. I practically abide to everything in this book, and the golden rule is not to make any irrational or uninformed decision when I get into a relationship. That’s why I always take the time to really know a potential girlfriend before I move a step further.

As for now only time knows what will happen between me and my new found love.

The beginning of a new era

I was reading an article by Fred Khumalo (a Sunday Times Columnist) about social networking sites. This particular article was focused on the danger social networking sites pose to the English language - he addressed things such as grammar and spelling becoming endangered because of SMS lingo. Words such as LOL, OMG are among the words that have been added to the oxford dictionary. The article gave me some insight into the “bittersweet” things associated with technology as a whole. After reading it I had an urge to mention some of what I think are the bittersweet things about technology.

High school

High school is an inevitable stage in life that everyone has to go through. For that impoverished kid carrying an AK47 somewhere in the rebel camps of Somalia, school is just an improbable stage in his life that will never be attained. Before the establishment of the first Dutch settlement in South Africa,I don't think that our forefathers were subjected to twelve years of schooling and a further three years of tertiary. To be honest, I’ve never been fond of this inevitable stage where I had to be subjected to five years of being bombarded with gibberish and moving around the whole day from class to class like a somnambulist. The thought of being awarded a matric certificate was the only thing that kept me sane and motivated. If it wasn’t for this dream, I don’t think I would have survived a day wearing that dreadful uniform and being restrained behind those gigantic gates. The reason I say my school uniform was dreadful is because it was similar to that of checkers supermarket worker (green striped tie, navy blue pants and white shirt).

Proverbs 3:6 “Acknowledge him, and he will straighten your path”

I’m going to touch base with a very controversial issue that is barely subject matter in a conversation. This is one thing we are born in to and yet we find it socially unacceptable to fully embrace it in public or at least around friends. Well this “thing” I’m talking about is religion. I’ve been in conversations about sex, relationships, technology and even business; but I hardly hear someone mention anything connected to religion. I’m not saying that we should turn in to Jehovah’s witnesses who hand out “Watchtower” magazines, preach the word of God at the entrance of a strip club and even try imposing Christianity on others.

ReggaeMylitis

Peter Tosh, Bob Marley, Bunny Wailer, Lucky Dube. I could write an endless list. The first thing that any knowledgeable person would think of when hearing these names would be Reggae or the group called “The wailers” - Lucky Dube would be excluded in this case. If you conjectured anything in the lines of reggae, then you’re correct. Mozart is said to be a musical mastermind, but in “MY” world that status belongs to Bob Marley. What sparked the idea of sitting down and actually typing this blog was a sudden nostalgic feeling I got when listening to a song by Bob Marley called War, which in actual fact was taken from a speech given by his imperial majesty Haile Salassi before the UN general assembly.