Who am I?

To avoid sounding like a contemplative nutcase who is rambling on about a whole lot of philosophical mumbo jumbo, I’ll tell you what brought about the idea of writing this blog post. There was a very intriguing local documentary that I watched called “Who am I”. On this show there are people who come from all walks of life trying to find their true identity. Through the process of trying to answer this question, they leave their suburban surroundings and visit the areas where their forefathers once resided. It’s quite an interesting journey that explores different aspects of a person’s culture, religion and lifestyle. There was a particular episode on which an elderly woman said “We as Africans have lost our identity because deep within our subconscious mind colonialist and missionaries embedded the idea that our ways were savage and immoral.” Every time I indulged in this scintillating local documentary, I was always left in awed silence by the simple yet profound statements made. It only comes to show that a person’s identity is not only determined by the green coded booklet that’s issued out by home affairs. I don’t know if I was reading too much in to this TV production, but after watching this documentary it opened up an endless flow of thoughts. I’m at an age where I analyze and question everything. So to no longer have that father figure who I can ask whenever I need that important bit of information, I’m left to my own assumptions which somehow lead me to rather doubtful conclusions. This documentary got me thinking of a period in my life when I wrestled with the intruding thoughts that question my unknown uniqueness. For the lack of a better word we’ll call it an “identity crises”. Well, these thoughts came when I left home in the hopes of returning years later with a piece of paper that is said to determine a man’s success. When I left my somewhat monotonous hometown, I came across people whose religions, cultures and lifestyles were contrary to what I considered popular belief. Since its human nature to be curious and reflective, I began to look into various religious philosophies and altered my lifestyle hoping to create an elusive sense of identity. It was through this curious and exploratory state that I realized that the beliefs taught to me as a child and my little weird idiosyncrasies were what actually determine my identity. If I were to come up with other things that determine ones identity, I would be going beyond my limits of thought. So let’s leave it there for now. To answer the question “who am I?” I could simply say the following in my mother tongue (Setswana): Ke mmina Kwena wa motswa sele wa legwame la kgopa ya Kwena Fa pula etla nna mangwe a se apara letoutou kgomo mpolokang Fa marumo a tla nna ga ke a tshabe, E tla re fa o tla nkgona O mpetse ka lerumo fa gare ga serota Mme nna kwena, fa ke ntsha tlhogo bodibeng Legodimo lo apara loapi Ka ke sa le je sefatlhego Nna Kwena