Awkward moments

I have vivid memories lodged at the back of my mind; some of these memories are of awkward moments that make me crack a smile unwillingly. Luckily these incidents remain perfectly hidden in plain view only to be seen by those who pay attention. They might seem unbelievable and unconceivable but Gods sense of humor is one which a mere mortal will never understand, but here are the synopses of my awkward moments.

I was in a queue attempting to start a friendly conversation with the lady in front of me, she didn’t reply and the first thing that came to mind was “This person is rude.” To my surprise that lady’s companion came along and they started making hand gestures which looked like sign language. When I walked away from that embarrassing scene, that seemed a bit cinematic, the only thing that I could hear was the voice in my head saying “I’m such an idiot for trying to start a conversation with a deaf person”. After that incident I wished I could just crawl underneath some rock and hide from earths judgmental eyes.

I’ve also found myself calling someone with the intent of saying something specific, but due to some psychological phenomena what I wanted to say can’t come out. So, to avoid sounding like a strange or deranged person, I improvise and come up with something else to say. Eventually when I run out of conversation topics, there’s a brief moment of silence when I frantically searching my mind for something else to say. Unexpectedly, I blurt the first thing that comes to mind only to realize seconds later that I just said a load of crap. None of the Twenty six alphabetic letters can be placed together to create that elusive word that perfectly describes how I feel after making such phone calls.

Since I’m not Cronus, the Titan god of time and the ages, there’s no point in beating myself up for something I can’t change. I’d rather look back at these moments and laugh.

Somalia

The land won’t bear anything to devour
The sky won’t shed a tear
On her long journey south in search for life
She’s accompanied by the messengers of death
She left home with nothing but memories
Cautiously walking with the scorching sun against her skin
She takes a breath as if it were her last
Anger, fear, sorrow and uncertainty fill her eyes
All she can do is beg Allah for mercy

Who am I?

To avoid sounding like a contemplative nutcase who is rambling on about a whole lot of philosophical mumbo jumbo, I’ll tell you what brought about the idea of writing this blog post. There was a very intriguing local documentary that I watched called “Who am I”. On this show there are people who come from all walks of life trying to find their true identity. Through the process of trying to answer this question, they leave their suburban surroundings and visit the areas where their forefathers once resided. It’s quite an interesting journey that explores different aspects of a person’s culture, religion and lifestyle. There was a particular episode on which an elderly woman said “We as Africans have lost our identity because deep within our subconscious mind colonialist and missionaries embedded the idea that our ways were savage and immoral.” Every time I indulged in this scintillating local documentary, I was always left in awed silence by the simple yet profound statements made. It only comes to show that a person’s identity is not only determined by the green coded booklet that’s issued out by home affairs.

Africa, Africa, Africa

Africa is the richest continent in terms of minerals, yet we are the poorest continent in terms of finance. I search the vague recesses of my mind trying to find an answer as to why Africa is in this predicament. Besides the poverty and lack of development, autocracy is one thing that many countries on this continent have in common. This political system comes in the form of totalitarian and dictatorship. After gaining independence aspiring leaders had noble intentions but after a while corruption and pure greed began to fuel a never ending hunger for power. Now they cling onto power hoping that the winds of change don’t blow.

This continent has given birth to great leaders like Patrice Lumumba, Julius Nyerere, Muammar Gaddafi, Thabo Mbeki and Robert Mugabe. They all had political philosophies and ideologies that would drastically improve the dire condition we find ourselves in. But not having a solid implementation plan that turns those ideas into reality lead to their downfall. In South Africa, Thabo Mbeki was a visionary leader whose philosophy of African Renaissance was all about making this continent stand up on its own without the assistance of western countries. All this was going to be done by uniting every country with the hopes that it will rebuild its economy, preserve its culture and overcome any challenge it faces. Muammar Gaddafi envisioned a United States of Africa but given the circumstances that idea remained exactly that, an idea. Julius Nyerere announced the Arusha declaration which was a policy that promoted African socialism and collectivization. Pan Africanism is an ideology that all theses leaders upheld, but what will ultimately constitute the implementation of Pan Africanism will be a sense of unity among fellow Africans.

With all the civil wars and coup d'état that have swept across this continent, the word unity seems to be fading from our vocabulary. It’s all about the language you speak, the tribe you come from and the God you praise. This is something that can be traced back to the 1884 Berlin conference when colonizers determined Africa’s fate. Ever colonized state separated people according to there ethnicity and religion, creating that perception that we might be the same colored skin but we still not the same. Although all African countries have gained independence, former colonizers still have some influence in many of these so called “independent” countries. I find it strange that we are quick to balm our colonial fathers for Africa’s misfortune, yet at first sight of political or economic trouble we are the first people to run to them for a helping hand.

As a person who is passionate about the prosperity of Africa, I believe that we will only begin to transform once there is no sight of dirt roads and dilapidated buildings in any capital city and once the sight of flies swamping a naked child, with a visible rib cage and a protruding stomach, is no longer seen. This can only be done if we take charge of our well-being without any western interference and if a new style of leadership emerges, abolishing any form of dictatorship. Now I envision a utopia where there is no such thing as poverty, corruption, dictatorship or war. I hope that one-day Africa will become this utopia I dream of.